I'm very depressed, help?

DANG THATS a lot to read. Honestly only advice i can give you is to just be patient. Time changes things. Just get out there and mingle though. And stop smoking. Nasty habitat. Things change just give it time i know thats hard to hear at this point. But hey a person can always have hope for a brighter tomorow. Just hope and keep trying to change your sitiutation.